I am an anti-naturalist

I don’t believe in choosing something because its more “natural” when it comes to my body.

Lest we forget,

Nature harms us.

Dying in childbirth is natural.

Having an ectopic pregnancy is life threatening, but natural.

Unplanned pregnancies are natural.

Nature, by the way, doesn’t care if this was caused by rape or incest.

Nature is unforgiving.

 

And yet somehow, people have tried to convince me that the fertility awareness method is better than hormonal birth control because it is more “natural”,

Even if using it would make me way more likely to become pregnant.

The fertility awareness method is more natural, but it is also more dangerous for me.

It would make me suffer,

It would risk my life,

Because nature is, in most cases, my enemy,

Whereas technology, Western medicine and synthetic hormones are my friends.

 

In its most natural state, my body regularly tries to self-destruct.

I got my first period when I was 11 years old.

Every month, I’ve spent entire days of my life tossing and turning in pain on the floor.

My uterus has a temper.

She’s not a sacred, holy space of divine fetal development.

She is a total bitch.

And to be honest, I resent her for what she’s done to me for all these years.

There’s nothing noble about suffering from period pain.

Period pain is fruitless, pointless and cruel.

 

But unlike the generations of women who have come before me, I have a way out:

The Hormonal IUD.

I got one about 3 years ago.

Now I don’t get period cramps,

I only get a bit of period blood,

And I avoid the trauma of risking an unplanned pregnancy.

This little piece of plastic with synthetic hormones has restored my sanity.

It has given me weeks of my life back, where my natural self would have resigned me to debilitating pain.

 

To me, the ideology around being natural is dangerous.

It gives us unrealistic standards to live up to,

And it makes us feel guilty for wanting to be free.

But in reality, taking hormonal birth control is a great decision,

Taking pain killers when you need them is a great decision,

Having an epidural while you’re giving birth is a great decision.

Making the choice to be unnatural in order to avoid unnecessary pain and suffering and even save your life is a great decision,

Because defying nature is what makes us free.

 

As people with pussies,

We’re not pure, obedient, detoxed, and vulnerable to the laws of the universe.

We’re not vessels for what is left of the natural world.

We’re not here to help others feel better about destroying nature and the environment.

No, we’re human beings with real choices and real rights.

 

I’m not saying that we all have to become cyborgs.

I’m just saying that you can eat your crunchy granola and have your Hormonal IUD too.

———

Background

I performed Pussy Prologue in early March 2020 at the Open Mic after The Pussy Prologues show. The prologues were hosted by Caroline Federal and Michelle Craychee at The Center, a cool tea house and co-op in San Francisco. They had invited about 15 women to write and perform their own Pussy Prologues, quite like The Vagina Monologues, but with a modern twist. The Vagina Monologues was put together by Eve Ensler in 1996, and has been performed on across college campuses in the United States every year since. The point of The Pussy Prologues was for us to include subjects that mattered to us, many of which were not included in the original Vagina Monologues, including masturbation, queerness and bisexuality, birth control, fertility, and polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).