He wanted me to put him in the dog cage. A tall, bearded, Greek-French man I’d met on an app for kinky people. It was one of his biggest fantasies, he said. I looked at the cage, standing there in my underwear in his living room. It had a black grate and was about 4ft long, 3ft wide and 3ft deep, with a black plastic tray covering the base. A grown man could fit in there, I thought to myself. But most recently, it had been used by the Corgi-Pitbull mix he had been fostering during the pandemic. Who knew that someone could make a mutt out of such polar opposite dog breeds? Nothing about this dog’s existence made sense to me in my mind.
I laughed awkwardly. I hoped he couldn’t sense how helplessly underprepared I felt. I usually try to listen to my partner’s innermost desires with an open mind, respectfully, but this time it was different. I had never met a man who was so enraptured by the idea of being dominated by a woman, who so deeply wanted a woman to control him. To literally grab him by the balls, and physically hurt him. Was there something wrong in him wanting this? Was he walking off a cliff into a sea of sin? Why, to him, did pain mix so well with pleasure?
My ex was like this too, to some extent. I don’t know how this has come to be, but French mothers have a strange way of molding their sons. Their sons are handsome, kind-hearted and attentive listeners, but inherently soft. They want a mistress who is really their master. They’re the kind of men who want you to cuddle them up in your chest, and stroke their hair as they obsess over your boobs, and you tell them that they’re a good boy, and if they’re extra good you’ll peg them later. How did I suddenly get so much power behind closed doors, in the place where I wanted to feel powerless?
That was the inherent problem with it all. We were both switch-leaning subs. Both of us wanted to be held and taken care of. It wasn't ideal, but it made for a night of interesting exploration anyway. He didn’t end up in the dog cage, not this time anyway. But he did end up tying me up on his bed and spanking me.